Comparison Isn't Just the Thief of Joy, It's the Thief of Individuality
Hello beautiful! I hope you are all having an amazing summer, but some of you might already be going back to school which is beyond ludicrous to me. Anyway, today's post is about what I see as the plague of pretty much every teenager out there: comparing oneself to others. We've all heard the famous saying: "Comparison is the thief of joy." But I'd never really thought deeply about why comparison was so harmful. I'd always used it as a motivator, especially in school. Recently, while I was planning for this post, I've been doing a lot of thinking about how comparison really affects us, especially as teenagers when we're trying to find out who we really are. So, for today, I'm going to focus on 3 aspects of life that comparison manifests in the most for young adults and teens: academics, appearance, and dating life.
Academics
I already have a post about self worth and performance in school up on my blog, but today I want to focus more on the idea of competition in academic spaces. It becomes the focal point of so many academically driven students' lives. And WAY WAY WAY too often, students are so focused on competing that they forget about the reason why we're even in school: to learn.
Learning doesn't necessarily mean getting all A's. It' doesn't necessarily mean being at the top of your class. It doesn't mean torturing yourself over those 3 points that you lost while your friend got 100%. Learning is subjective, and it shows up in different ways on different students' report cards. So trying to achieve this standard that is constantly moving because of the competition is not only incredibly demanding, but also, futile when it comes to gaining knowledge at your own pace.
Appearance
I've talked about appearance A LOT on this platform, but I haven't really addressed comparison as the main issue. We know that with social media and all of the content that we consume on a daily basis, it's hard to avoid comparing yourself to the people that we see online and in person.
The first thing that I want to get out of the way is that many aspects of your appearance are genetic, like height. In most of these cases, there's not much you can do to change you height, so comparing yours to others' will do nothing but make you feel terrible about the way you look, simply because it's different.
I also want to make you all aware of how ridiculous it is to compare appearances, especially in the context of health. As someone with almond parents I've heard it all when it comes to weight, eating habits, and overall health. But I will stand by the opinion that the only people who can know the full truth about YOUR health are you and your doctor. Comparing appearances like they're some immediate indicator of a person's entire medical history is one of the most idiotic things that we do as people.
We will never know what's going on inside someone's body unless they tell us, and even if they do, it is much more their business than it is ours. For example, people with acne are often told to "just wash your face." But, in pretty much all cases, people with acne have absolutely tried washing their faces, and it simply hasn't worked for them because their skin is different.
The point is that different people's bodies are made differently, and we can't assume that one habit will work for everyone, whether it be a diet or a certain skincare routine.
Dating Life
This is the only one of these three topics that I don't know much about. I've never dated, so most of my knowledge about it comes from television. But I've noticed that having a romantic partner usually makes you seem cooler or more likable. So being in a relationship becomes less about the actual relationship and more about using the idea of the relationship for respect or admiration from other people.
I know that dating in the 2020's is a lot different than is was a few generations ago, and that's totally okay, but I still think that we should only date if we want to, not because it will make us more popular. To me, dating has always seemed like one of the most intimate things you can do with another person. To completely let them into your life in position reserved for them and no one else is serious, and if you don't feel ready, you shouldn't feel like you have to date just because everyone else is doing it.
So, to sum up what I've been trying to say: we are all different, and those differences are beautiful. When we compare ourselves to others and start seeing one type of life as the best, we might start to change ourselves and forget who we are at our core because we tried to become an exact copy of another person or group of people.
Comparing ourselves to others leads us to loose our individuality, and I hope I can make as many people aware of this as possible, so we can all be our own individual selves.
But, of course, those are just my thoughts. I hope they were helpful for you, but like always, share any thoughts or opinions you may have in the comments!
Remember, if you ever need a hand, girl, let me help!
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