Growing Up is Expected of Women, But Not Men

Hello beautiful! I hope you hare having an amazing, fun, spontaneous day! I say that because I know that most of my audience is women(or so I hope), and because I'm becoming more and more concerned about the ideas that society has adopted towards women and maturity. The quality of being "grown up" is expected early in girls approaching adulthood (late teens and early twenties) while their male counterparts are encouraged to have fun and enjoy their youth. This double standard affects young women before they even know what the word feminist means. What scares me about this is that women may start to lose their playful and imaginative side early in their lives, for fear of being perceived as too childish.

Today, I'll be touching on the beginnings of this mindset in girls, the manifestation of early maturity on girls' lives, and the inherent sexism that pushes this idea further and further. Because maybe, by becoming aware of the issue, we can take small steps to break down the unfair expectations placed upon women.

From a very early age, young girls are conditioned to believe that boys are naturally more disorganized, loud, and playful. Although it is generally true that girls begin puberty earlier and biologically mature before boys, this isn't a valid reason to be blatantly unfair in your treatment of boys and girls. We all have to learn the same skills to move through the world

In classrooms, boys are often given more lenience when they disrupt lessons or break the rules. Play kitchens and dolls are sold as girls toys while action figures and dinosaurs are marketed towards boys. See the difference?

When young women tell teachers or parents that a boy is bothering her at school, she's told that he just likes her and bullying is his way of expressing that.

The phrase "boys will be boys," serves to excuse the mistakes of boys and men instead of teaching them to learn from them and to tell women that they should allow themselves to be treated like a doormat. The world creates an easy path for men to navigate the world in whatever way they want, because they can do no wrong and in the process, leaves women behind.

Women learn that they have to become more mature and more serious to make up for the gap in expectation. They have to be more quiet, agreeable, and delicate while men are allowed to cause chaos for fun and act like a teenager in their thirties.

Here's where the scariest part happens: being mature and agreeable often devolves into being submissive. Obeying becomes the primary reason for a woman's existence. In trying to become an adult, young women can make the mistake of turning themselves into automatons who can never act out and never speak their mind.

This is where we get the relationship dynamic where the woman is forced to raise and take care of the kids while also babying her own husband. It still infuriates me that a man who has no emotional awareness and doesn't know how to do any basic household tasks is praised for taking care of the family while the woman has to do all of the housework and finish raising her husband because past generations couldn't figure out how to make a boy mature.

By living only to serve men and their wants and needs, women can lose their willingness to have fun and to enjoy life as it is. We can become scared of standing out or even expressing ourselves, because it might draw attention to us. We can lose our sense of whimsy.

I know that whimsy has become a bit of a buzzword online recently, but I feel that it's important to mention. Being a little bit funny or spontaneous doesn't make you immature, and it certainly doesn't make you any less of a woman. Wearing bright colors or having a loud laugh doesn't take away from your womanhood.

Everyone should have the right to be fun, spontaneous and a little silly. Just by being more aware, we can all start making small changes in our own lives to level the playing field of growing up for men and women.

You could call out your brother for never doing the dishes and asking your parents why they never call him out on it. You could tell the teachers at your school that the boys in your class are repeatedly bullying people instead of letting them get away with it. You could ask your boyfriend, husband, or partner to start pitching in with household chores more often.

You can have fun and remember that you don't have to be the adult all of the time.

Remember, if you ever need a hand, girl, let me help!